Poor, dear, innocent Nuns who have suffered in my jokes—
I’m sorry. Sorry that I have subjected you
to seatless bicycles, and frozen orgasms from men with candy.
I apologize for the holy water gargles and the lewd questions
from Saint Peter. I know that you are good and earnest people,
people who teach school and do good nunly things,
like praying and feeding the poor. I know that after Vatican II
you do not always wear wimples or habits, and that my
stereotypical depictions of you are unkind and unfair. So, in closing,
about that time I made you walk through the revolving door
with a spear through your head, I’m sorry. That was just wrong.Â
Jason Schneiderman
Jason Schneiderman is the author of Sublimation Point, a Stahlecker Selection from Four Way Books. His poems and essays have appeared in numerous journals and anthologies, including Tin House, Ninth Letter, The Best American Poetry (2005), and The Penguin Book of the Sonnet. He has received fellowships from Yaddo, The Fine Arts Work Center, and the Bread Loaf Writer's Conference. He is currently a Chancellor's Fellow at The Graduate Center of the City Univeristy of New York.
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