Poor, dear, innocent Nuns who have suffered in my jokes—

I’m sorry. Sorry that I have subjected you

to seatless bicycles, and frozen orgasms from men with candy.

I apologize for the holy water gargles and the lewd questions

from Saint Peter. I know that you are good and earnest people,

people who teach school and do good nunly things,

like praying and feeding the poor.  I know that after Vatican II

you do not always wear wimples or habits, and that my

stereotypical depictions of you are unkind and unfair.  So, in closing,

about that time I made you walk through the revolving door

with a spear through your head, I’m sorry.  That was just wrong.