Jennifer L. Knox
How to Manage Your Adult ADHD



1.               Stop the action.

                  1a. Does that include apologizing?

                        1b. Because I’m sorry about this poem. I’m so embarrassed.

                              Please forgive me.

3.               Tape pictures of policemen all around the house, especially                         on the refrigerator.

7.               Cheap tops.

49.             Cheap tops.

                  ii.   Cheap tops that no fit now, nor ne’er will, Captain!

4.               Airline miles, baby [rub hands together greedily]!

8.               See the future.

9.               To soothe yourself, recite Ghostbusters.

                        99. Again.

                            999. Let’s show this prehistoric bitch how we do things                                            downtown.

12.             I’m sorry again.

                  1221.    [Mechanic lopes in wiping his oily hands on a rag]                                          Welp, I’m pretty sure you had yourself a full-fledged                                       nervous breakdown back there!

13.             Stop apologizing.

                  13a.   Right?!? Fuck you! [breaks beer bottle]

                            13af.  [Steven Seagal-style] Make meeeeeeeh.

14-19.        Dear reader…wanna make out?

27.             Have a sense of humor about your ADHD.

28.             Oh, I can hang! [Yell at policemen] HEY, PIGS! CREEP MY                            FRIDGE MUCH?!?!?!

                  [maniacal laughter, lightning]

38.             Yoo hoo! Mister DeMille! [Lights, sirens, plastic bracelets]

X.              I dance [Bugs Bunny imitating Danny Kaye in “Hot Cross                              Bunny” (1948)]…

                  xx.   …for you, dear reader!

                          ∞.   [Hand them the box, they shake it (hint: the bird’s                                            dead)].

Y.              See you on the other side, Ray.

Z.               I’m trying to tell myself a different story these days.

                  zz.       “You’re fifty-one years late

                               zzz.       but I forgive you.”







Found In Volume 49, No. 03
Read Issue
  • Knox
Jennifer L. Knox
About the Author

Jennifer L. Knox's new book of poems, Crushing It, will be published by Copper Canyon Press in October 2020. She lives in central Iowa and is the proprietor of a small-batch spice company called Saltlickers.