Jason Schneiderman
Jokes About Nuns

Poor, dear, innocent Nuns who have suffered in my jokes—

I’m sorry. Sorry that I have subjected you

to seatless bicycles, and frozen orgasms from men with candy.

I apologize for the holy water gargles and the lewd questions

from Saint Peter. I know that you are good and earnest people,

people who teach school and do good nunly things,

like praying and feeding the poor.  I know that after Vatican II

you do not always wear wimples or habits, and that my

stereotypical depictions of you are unkind and unfair.  So, in closing,

about that time I made you walk through the revolving door

with a spear through your head, I’m sorry.  That was just wrong.

Found In Volume 35, No. 02
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Jason Schneiderman
About the Author

Jason Schneiderman is the author of four collections of poetry, most recently Hold Me Tight (Red Hen Press, 2020); he edited the anthology Queer: A Reader for Writers (Oxford UP, 2016). He is an Associate Professor of English at the Borough of Manhattan Community College, City University of New York, and teaches in the MFA Program for Writers at Warren Wilson College.