Jason Schneiderman
Jokes About Nuns

Poor, dear, innocent Nuns who have suffered in my jokes—

I’m sorry. Sorry that I have subjected you

to seatless bicycles, and frozen orgasms from men with candy.

I apologize for the holy water gargles and the lewd questions

from Saint Peter. I know that you are good and earnest people,

people who teach school and do good nunly things,

like praying and feeding the poor.  I know that after Vatican II

you do not always wear wimples or habits, and that my

stereotypical depictions of you are unkind and unfair.  So, in closing,

about that time I made you walk through the revolving door

with a spear through your head, I’m sorry.  That was just wrong.

Found In Volume 35, No. 02
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Jason Schneiderman
About the Author

Jason Schneiderman is an Assistant Professor of English at the Borough of Manhattan Community College. He is the author of Striking Surface (Ashland Poetry Press, 2010) and Sublimation Point (Four Way Books, 2014). He recently completed a doctorate at the Graduate Center of CUNY; his dissertation was awarded the Paul Monette Prize.