Poor, dear, innocent Nuns who have suffered in my jokes—
I’m sorry. Sorry that I have subjected you
to seatless bicycles, and frozen orgasms from men with candy.
I apologize for the holy water gargles and the lewd questions
from Saint Peter. I know that you are good and earnest people,
people who teach school and do good nunly things,
like praying and feeding the poor. I know that after Vatican II
you do not always wear wimples or habits, and that my
stereotypical depictions of you are unkind and unfair. So, in closing,
about that time I made you walk through the revolving door
with a spear through your head, I’m sorry. That was just wrong.